My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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