I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
