If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
