My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
where am i from again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
