either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
