No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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