Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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