Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
