Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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