can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
