Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
