..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize