just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
