if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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