Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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