I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we're making bets on your personal life
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
