then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
