I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
