My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
