I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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