I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sorry about my life...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
