i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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