Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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