thus making me awesome and them whores
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
