dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
