is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
