yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
