He disabled his match.com account in front of me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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