is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
