just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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