listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
