If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
