Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
