farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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