I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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