i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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