i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
