According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
