is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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