I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize