arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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