To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
