DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
