Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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