thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
