If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
God, I missed his penis.
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