so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
