I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
