ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He shit in the fireplace
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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