i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
