My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
