I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
