It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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