I hate your face
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
