I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
