drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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