everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize