i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
