It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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